


Lost and Insecure

by Lazerdatweebling13



Series: Mad World [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Homestuck - Freeform, Lyricstuck, M/M, Sadstuck, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-15 20:51:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8072347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazerdatweebling13/pseuds/Lazerdatweebling13
Summary: Dave and Karkat have an unstable relationship, Dave lost and numb, Karkat insecure and broken they have a lot to patch up to make this work.This is LyricStuck, each Chapter is inspired by a song.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The song here is Numb by: Linkin Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is Numb by Linkin Park:  
> https://youtu.be/-qZxMY7FZf8
> 
> All songs in this book can be found in this playlist:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu_Li4RFWrdllC8bKSwFhar8c2RXpL-Mg

_~I'm tired of being what you want me to be,~_

 

Blonde hair swooping out of his eyes, dripping with sweat. Panting hard as cold air hit his hot body, sending shivers down his spine. Another swing-blood trickled down his arm. Dave looked over at his Bro fixing his sunglasses on his face before turning quickly, striking Bro in the forearm with his katana. Blonde dripping hair blocked his vision as he dropped the katana. Breathless, dropping to his knees and just looking ahead at his brother.

 

_~Feeling so faithless lost under the surface.~_

 

A pair of sunglasses hit the roof with a clatter, followed by only the noise of panting from two breathless boys. Red eyes glaring through blond hair, hitting the older like daggers. Dave coughed into his hand, wiping away the blood that came out of his mouth. spitting a bit of blood onto his sunglasses, standing up, turning away and leaving his older brother on the roof. Leaving his Bro, his shades, his katana, and his will to live.

 

_~Don't know what you're expecting of me,~_

 

The blonde descended the ladder back into the apartment and walked back to his room, running himself a cold shower. Dave removed his sweaty skinny jeans and stepped in the shower. The cold water running down and covering every inch of his body. It was relieving. He sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair, slowly scrubbing away the blood and sweat, his body stung from the water hitting old and new cuts. Blood lined the bathtub floor, swirling around the drain and going down. Dave washed his body carefully, the only thought going through his mind was,

What more could he want from me?

 

_~Put under pressure of walking in your shoes.~_

 

Dripping wet, the towel barely doing its job, Dave dried off. The now sore blonde slid into sweat pants and a loose t-shirt. Grabbing a bottle of apple juice from the fridge and sitting in his room, with the mistake of leaving the door open. The crack of the bottle opening was heaven to Daves ears, then the feeling of the cold cider substance flowing through his body made him feel a lot better. That was until his bottle was punctured by a sword-a katana to be exact, his katana.

"Dave, did I say we were done strifing?" The blondes eyes widened red flashing to look directly into Bro's shades. "And your disgusting eyes should be covered- where the fuck are your shades?!"

 

_~Every step I take is another mistake to you.~_

 

"I donno, the roof?" Dave retorted to his brother, wasn't the smarted choice, because it earned him a back hand to his face. His pale skin going red, freckles standing out more than ever. "Do I really have to wear them? I mean, at home I see no point-"

"You're a disgrace. A disgrace that I get to put up with." Bro cut him off, "Now stop being a little pussy and get your skinny ass up on the roof and finish what you started." He spat at the blonde and walked off. Dave sighed looking at his now spilled apple juice and got up, grabbing his sword.

"Goddamned Bro always spilling my aj" Dave climbed back up to the roof, this time, angry.

 

_~I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.~_

 

Dave dashed onto the roof and slashed his katana against Bro, letting out his anger. He watched as blood dripped own his body, the only noise he could hear was the buzzing in his head telling him to kill Bro, that he deserved it. So Dave lost it. Slash after slash, clank of metal on metal, blocking the others attack. Slowly, their footing leading them closer to the edge of the roof, closer to falling off. The blond breathless took another lounge at Bro, his sword driving into the others side. Dave pulled the sword back and looked at Bro terrified, dropping the sword. He stepped back three steps before falling back, a shriek from himself as he watched his brother bleed out before him.

 

_~Become so tired, so much more aware.~_

 

"Oh my god! Bro!!" Dave got up running over and Bro who looked at Dave with anger in his eyes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Get the fuck away from me before I kill you! If I were an actual enemy and you hurt me you'd fucking run you idiot!" Dave looked at him and shook his head.

"NO YOU'RE HURT GOD DAMN IT LET ME FUCKING HELP YOU!!!" Dave cried to him and Bro pushed him back, where Dave sliced his calf on the sword that was there. His leg bleeding immensely and it was dangerous. Bro laughed "Look at what you've done now! You stupid child, why can't you just do what I tell and teach your for once?!"

 

_~I'm becoming this, all I want to do~_

 

Dave looked at his hands, they had his brothers blood on them. Bro wasn't the monster, it was Dave. Dave had tried to kill his Bro. Sure Bro has been abusive Daves entire life but that doesn't mean he can kill him. Dave screamed and started to sob he was a monster- he was becoming Bro.

 

_~Is be more like me, and be less like you.~_

 

Slowly Dave slipped out of consciousness, in this period of time, Dave had been tended to. His wound wrapped up and washed off, he lay in his bed with his sister in the room looking at him, observing until he woke up. Rose made sure he was okay, watching to make sure Bro didn't do anything. Dave woke up and looked around, slowly his eyes adjusted to the light and he could make out the face of his sister. "Rose? w-what are you doing here?" the blonde boy stuttered.

Rose smiled and put her book down looking at Dave. "Good, David you're awake. How does your leg feel? You took a nasty fall during one of those strifes of yours. Seriously you should take John up on that offer to stay with him and Jade." the bob cut blonde smiled lovingly moving onto the bed to change the gauze.

 

_~Can't you see that you're smothering me?~_

 

 

Dave groaned, half in pain and half in annoyance, Rose could get on his nerves easily, especially because she treated him as if she was his mom. Which she wasn't, Dave did not have a real mom, just his step mom- Roses mom. Rose shook her head, her black headband keeping her hair in place but the sides curling in towards her head. Bob cut looked good on her.

  
"David, move your leg so I can tend to it, we don't want it getting infected. Now please can you call John? I'll get mom to drive you over-if she isn't drunk when I'm done. Okay?" She stood up and looked at him sighing. "I know this sucks, but we're all here for you David, now is there anything I can get for you in the mean time?"

  
Dave smiled a bit, but not too much. He was a cool kid after all. "Thanks Rosemary-Now some ibuprofen would be great right about now, maybe I can down them with some Clorox" He smirked and she smiled, the calming black lipstick smile she had. "Anything for you oh brother of mine" and with that she walked out of the room.

 

 

_~Holding too tightly afraid to loose control~_

 

 

Dave lay there in pain waiting for Rose to return with the ibuprofen. He looked over to his desk and saw his phone, should he call John? He had said that he could move in with him, escape the abusive home he's in right now. It was like the world knew his next move and the phone rang right then. Dave reached over groaning and looked at the caller's identification John in big bold letters flashed on the screen with some goofy picture of him behind it.

  
"Hello" Dave answered in monotone. "Hey Dave! Rose just told me it happened again, are you okay?! How bad is it this time? Please tell me you're packing to get your butt over here right now!" John blabbed on asking him bazillions of questions. "John, I'm fine, Rose is being very persistent over me moving. I'm thinking if I don't pack, she'll do it for me." Dave rolled his eyes just wanting to be over and done with all of this stupidity for his safety. 

 

 

_~Cause everything you thought I would be~_

 

 

"David" Rose walked back into the room to a stoic blonde on his cell phone stuffing necessities into a back pack, along with his college books. "Yes John I'm packing those too-Rose can you grab the small box on the top shelf there. Thanks" He pointed to a box in the top of his closet. It was a shoe box, what was inside wasn't important at the moment. Rose handed him the box and he zipped up the bag he packed, Dave grabbed his headphones and draped them around his neck. Putting his cellphone charger into his laptop bag, to accompany his laptop, a well known voice boomed startling all three, Rose, Dave, and John. "Where do you think you're going?" Dave hung up immediately on John, and Rose took the cover for him; ultimately saving his ass. "Mom and I are taking David to Jonathan's tonight, they have a massif film project due on Tuesday they still have to film. Not that you'd mind, since it is school related." She gave a smug smile to Bro and he eyed them both suspiciously. 

 

 

_~Has fallen apart right in front of you~_

 

 

"Is this true?" Bro asked Dave and the blonde nodded "Yea, I can even show you the project outline if you don't believe me, I'll be at Johns for a few nights. Don't worry about me so much, I'll be fine" He spat and Bro gave him a look of, 'You little cocky ass I will end you'. "Okay, just check in every now and again" Bro turned walking out. Obviously not caring, just not wanting Dave to run to authorities.

  
Dave smiled at Rose a bit "And the move is a go" Rose grinned texting John the same words. 'The move is a go.'

 

 

 _~Every step that I take is just another mistake to you_  
_and every second I waste is more than I can take.~_

 

 

The door shut with a loud slam, the engine roared and off they left. Dave had finally escaped. He was finally free of that hell he had put up with his entire life up until that moment. Thanks to his sister, best friend, and his step mom; he was free. No longer waiting to bleed out on the roof of their apartment "Roxy, do you really think that this is the best idea? I mean what if Bro finds out I'm moving out permanently and attacks me...or worse. What if he attacks John?!" Dave asked worried, as they drove along main street towards Jade and John's town house.

  
"I think you'll be fine and you should really stop worrying so much, take a break and have a drink. cut loose and go to a party, like a normal collage student. Have fun and be the 19 year old you are." She smiled back at Dave and he nodded. "Thanks Rox."

  
"Anytime Kiddo, now have fun tonight. Go to that party with Rosie would ya'? Teach her how to have fun!" Dave nodded getting out of the car when they pulled up to Johns place. "Can do, Thanks again" Roxy waved as he got out and took his stuff. "Like I said, anytime. Love ya'!" "Love you too" He hip checked the door shut and made his way to John's door as Roxy sped off.

 

 _~I've become so numb, I can't feel you there._  
_Become so tired, so much more aware.~_

 

Jade swung the door open, a preppy high pitched voice squealed out "Dave!!! You're actually here! I couldn't believe John when he said you'd agreed to move in-Do you need any help?!" She rambled hopping over and taking one of Dave's bags. He smiled a bit "Thanks Jade, I appreciate the help. Now, Get John to take the rest and all will be perfect." He joked with her a bit.

  
The giggle from her was so high pitched only dogs could hear. Dave walked through into the entrance hall of their place, walking into the living room dropping his shit onto the couch before stumbling upstairs into John's room. "Hey Egdork, I need some gauze time for my hourly change. Lalonde's orders."

  
"Hey Dave! Rose has really got you under control huh? Yea, the gauze is under the sink in the washroom help yourself. If you need help, Jades best at it. I'd probably get myself tangled in your wrap." He laughed and snorted his dork laugh. Dave nodded and made his way to the washroom.

 

 

 

 _~I'm becoming this, all I want to do_  
_is be more like me an be less like you.~_

 

 

Dave sat down pulling out the gauze. his pants rolled up so he could wrap it around his wound. making sure to be careful he wrapped it tight and cleaned the whole area. after a few minutes of sitting there breathing and thinking about the day he sighed.

  
The day started with before breakfast strife, then followed by a nice shower, then almost killing his brother, an accidental major injury, then concluding with a move that would really change Daves life forever. He couldn't believe they did it. They finally moved Dave out of the abusive home he had grown up in, and possibly saved his life.

  
Dave really did love his friends. 

 

 

 _~And I know,_  
_I may end up failing too~_

 

 

Dave stood up an splashed his face with water, taking a deep breath. The blond exhaled loudly, turning fixing his bangs and adjusting his shades. He walked on out of the bathroom going into John's room, plopping himself down on John's bed he smiled. "So, what's the plan for the rest of the day, it's only one o'clock now."

  
John took a break from typing to his girlfriend to answer Dave. "Well, Vriska invited me to a party down at the collage, its for all the freshmen. Says we can get hammered." John snorted letting in a hammer pun. "Wanna come along? You're also a freshman y'know." Dave took a minute to think about it, then asked. "Will there be babes?" He asked implying he may be in search of a hook up.

  
"Probably, its a collage party, lots of hot chicks bumping around, They'll probably be all over you." John commented before correcting himself "Or dudes! Maybe some cute guys too?" The bucktooth asshole tried, he really did. A lot of the time he would forget Dave was more into dicks than chicks, but eh. A guys gotta have a preference.

 

 

 _~But I know_  
_You were just like me, with someone disappointed in you~_

 

Dave scoffed laughing a bit, his hands running through his own hair as he lay back on the bed. "Sure, maybe, Hopefully I'll find a cutie who is into photography so we can hit it off then will let me take them for the night. Even if it is only for one night, I really need it" He sighed and Jade knocked on the door frame. "If you boys are done talking over your plans to get laid, how about you help me choose an outfit for the party, Tav is taking me. So I'm stuck between skirt and crop top, or this galaxy petticoat dress I found in my closet" She grinned at the boys.

  
"Call Rose" Dave and John said in unison then busted out laughing, like the best bros they were. "Now, I'm gonna go see if I packed a blazer. If not, I gotta borrow one of yours, I think my red dress shirt is still here anyways. So it should work out." Dave got up waddling out to the guest room where Jade had moved his stuff.

 

 _~I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,_  
_I'm tired of being what you want me to be.~_

 

Dave dug through his stuff and found a pair of black jeans, red dress shirt, black sleeveless blazer and his red converse. He went to the bathroom and took some of Johns hair product with him. Dave stood in the bathroom sliding into the jeans and button up. Dave let the top two buttons stay undone, his blazer looking great. Fancy but hot, and not too fancy, just stylish. Cool kid, exactly what he was aiming for. Dave styled his hair to lay like the douche style it was and fall barely in front of the sunglasses that were covering his abnormalities.

Dave walked out of the room smiling when seeing Rose at the door in a short lavender pleated skirt, and a nice tank top. Her hair like normal, hanging in the blond bob held back with a black head ban, very little bang in her eyes. Purple eye make up with Black eye liner winged, black lipstick nicely done up.

Jade was in a galaxy petticoat skirt and a green crop top decorated in black jewels. Her long black hair tied off to the side by braid and a green bow at the end. Round black glasses famed her face and she wore little to none makeup, a coat of pink lip gloss, thin bottom eye liner and blush followed her cheekbones.

John in a light blue dress shirt, the top two bottoms undone and the sleeves rolled up. His pants were blue jeans. His hair looked like a hot mess. It worked well for him. They looked ready for their first collage party.

 

 _~I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,_  
_I'm tired of being what you want me to be.~_

 

Rose smiled at the rest of the teenagers, "David, Jade and Jonathon, are you all ready to go to our first collage party?" She asked calmly as Jade threw open the door. "So ready!!! Race ya to the car!" She ashed out the door in her black flats. John grinned and looked between them "Fuck yea I am!" He ran out following Jade. Dave smirked and adjusted his shades striding out of the house after Rose, shutting the door behind him he spoke,

"Let's party."


End file.
